Working at Ride has its perks. You know, with all the companies sending us all their latest and best products to be featured in the magazine, you get to snag a product here and there for yourself. But often the best stuff sent to the office never quite makes it to the magazine. And when I say “best,” I mean the funniest, most random products that your mind can fathom.

For example, the very first product I had the honor of receiving was an “extreme do-rag.” You know, the wrap thing that goes on your head? Well this one was extreme because it had a cartoon character on a bike doing a turnbar—not even a bmx bike, either. After wearing it as a ninja mask and skimming through the text they sent along, it was promptly thrown away. Two or three months later I received a follow up call about the do-rag to see if it would be featured in Ride. It was mildly awkward to say the least.

Other worthy mentions are the snowboarding goggles complete with pee colored lenses. After becoming nauseous from wearing them for a few minutes, I decided they’d be better off as far away from me as possible. Oh, and then there’s the time that I got a skateboard stand. You know, because we’re into that whole scene. My first thought was, “Why’d they send this to us?” Then my second thought was, “Why the hell does a skateboard need a stand?” Trash. Then there are the BMX street signs. While these are somewhat cool, they’re definitely not for the magazine when there are plenty of other useful products out there. I’ve been talking about going and changing a street to BMX Blvd., but it just hasn’t happened yet. Neon orange hoodies, BMX-themed picture frames, and so-called BMX videos with one riding clip in them—those are just some of the more funky products that come to mind.

 credit: Ryan Fudger

Besides products, we always get a ton of CDs here in the office. While there is a gem every once in a while (which promptly go to the guys doing music reviews in Ride), most of the time they’re bands that, well, leave a lot to be desired. Have you ever heard of Feable Weiner or Tony Touch or Psychostik? Good, because you’re not missing much. But if you’re looking for a CD that’s described as “Samba and Bossa Nova meet soul, funk and electronics” then I have the CD for you—Brazilian Groove. I also shouldn’t forget to mention the media packs that come along with some of these CD’s; massive amounts of paper describing, covering, and analyzing each artist along with their marketing and target demographic in addition to photocopies of every magazine article they’ve ever had. Being an Earth conscious individual such as myself, I do the right thing and at least throw the media packs in the recycle bin.

I should say that I’m not knocking any of this stuff. Actually, I am, but I still have respect for whatever they’re trying to do—it’s just not for Ride magazine. Besides, it’s always more fun to talk trash.